Get Me To The Train On Time

Author: wilson-admin-main

Get Me To The Train On Time

Posted on by wilson-admin-main

Years ago I was traveling in Germany alone and needed to get to the train station. I took a taxi with the hope that the driver would speak English and I could communicate my destination. After trying my limited German vocabulary I found out he was from Turkey and didn’t speak English. YIKES.

My only solution was to start speaking much louder…if I yelled loud enough he would understand I needed to get to the TRAIN STATION!!!

It was like talking to a reactive mind. No Comprendo. (I don’t understand.) Sometimes I see parents who think they can yell their children to sanity… “If I yell loud enough they will understand me” technique. I remember a few years ago when I was back home helping an elderly friend. The person was mostly out of Present Time except for the vital necessities of survival. She was also “hard of hearing” (which is a polite way of saying mostly deaf!).

Consequently, having a conversation was challenging. I’d say something like “It is a nice day.” To which was responded, “I don’t feel like playing.” To which I yelled, “I SAID IT WAS A NICE DAY!!” To which I would get a response, “You don’t have to YELL!” To which I would roll my eyes and huff and puff!

After many such conversations I tried using the approach “yelling the person to sanity”. Somehow if I yelled and was forceful enough the person would come to present time and duplicate what I was saying. This approach is like coming upon someone who has just been hit by a car and is bleeding all over the street and you start yelling at them to stop bleeding! It doesn’t work.

It is a physical universe thing. The person is hit by a car, in pain and bleeding. Yelling doesn’t stop the bleeding.

Well then it dawned on me; my friend was stuck in her Reactive Mind! It was like she was handicapped as a result of being in the painful moments of the past. You you can’t yell someone to sanity.

The Reactive Mind is a physical universe thing! When the Reactive Mind is being dramatized it is like the guy bleeding all over the street. It is real and is manifested right now in the physical universe. You can’t yell it to sanity.

Someone whose aberrations are making life difficult, like the child who is cranky, whining and uncooperative, is actually just “bleeding all over the street”. They are in some sort of past incident, out of present time, and it is a real physical universe thing.

Another thing is that the Reactive Mind contains PAIN, UNCONSCIOUSNESS, and PAINFUL EMOTIONS! When the Reactive Mind is being dramatized THAT is what is coming to the surface and acting like Present Time! The pain and drama of the past is a real physical universe thing. We can see it being acted out in Present Time.

When I started looking at my friend through this understanding I realized she was in Pain, had some Unconsciousness and some Painful Emotions! Just as I would not yell at someone to stop bleeding on the street, I wouldn’t yell at someone who was in pain from the past as a way to get them to stop hurting! Suddenly I had patience and understanding.I could communicate with ARC and make it safe for the person to approach Present Time so we could have a conversation. It changed my life.

Then I started auditing my friend and changed her life!

This is all from reading a book called DIANETICS by L. Ron Hubbard. He has many more stories in the book and makes it very easy to understand why this wonderful thing we call life can sometimes be nuts. It is a great read for any parent.

By the way,the taxi driver in Germany spoke Turkish, German and SPANISH! OLE! (Yahoo!) My high school Spanish worked for me and we made it to the train station on time!

Help Your Child’s Creativity Blossom

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Children are amazingly creative. Every day they wave a magic hand and transform the world into a wondrous place full of beauty, excitement and adventure. To a child creativity and imagination come as naturally as breathing.

As adults, our challenge is to nurture a child’s creative impulses so that they endure into the teen and adult years.

This is not hard to accomplish. It’s mostly a question of what you validate. By validate I merely mean “give attention to.”

If you validate certain attitudes and behavior in children, those attitudes and behavior patterns grow stronger and manifest themselves more frequently. Conversely, attitudes and behavior that are ignored (not validated) tend to disappear or diminish.

The trick, of course, is to recognize and validate positive, survival behavior and not to validate negative, non-survival behavior.

On the subject of creativity, this is easily done. “Wow! Just look at that picture! You’re such a good artist! Would you please draw me another?” is a fine example of validating a child’s natural creativity. It breeds enthusiasm to do more and to improve.

Parents who take a few moments to encourage creativity in such a fashion almost always wind up with children that grow into creative teens and adults.

On the other hand, parents who can’t be bothered, who find fault with a child’s efforts or who offer lots of criticism (constructive or not) often stifle a child’s creative impulses. “Oh, is this a house? I couldn’t tell. Now I see. Nice. But, you know, the chimney is in the wrong place. If you would put it over here you would have a much better picture,” is a sure way to dampen enthusiasm.

If you will recall your own childhood, I think you’ll realize that you responded most to the adults in your environment who validated the things you were trying to do and be. Quite possibly there was one person in particular (a parent, teacher, friend of the family, etc.) who had a profound influence on the direction your life took simply because they recognized and validated your talents or efforts in some direction.

You may also recall that the adults with whom you had the most difficulty were the ones who were seemingly blind to your positive qualities or, worse yet, only gave attention to your negative ones. You were probably most badly behaved around adults who regarded you as a “bad” or “unruly” child–another example of validation at work.

Now, as an adult, you have an opportunity to shape and influence the lives of many children. That influence will be positive to the degree that you recognize and validate survival behavior and creativity. A little effort now will pay huge dividends in the future.

Carol Kingsley

What Exactly is Own Time?

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Today I would like to write about something that is very important to every child parent relationship and remedies many problems for parents. It is also the way most auditing sessions start for children and I have found is one of the most misunderstood actions. I am talking about a “Special Technique for Children” or otherwise often known as “His/Her time” or “Own Time”.

I know immediately it is a misunderstood process whenever a parent complains that the auditor has spent too much time on “own time”, or playing in the session. So I want to go over this to clear it up:

On pages 125-126 of Child Dianetics, under Chapter 8 Special Technique for Children you will find the answer to all your questions:

“You should provide something which will, in effect be educational first of all. Therefore, set aside a time during the day when the child can do anything he desires which doesn’t hurt animals or property. If he wants you around during this time, which you can begin to call ‘Billy’s time,’ fine. Spend the hour or two with him and do whatever he asks you to do, within reason of course. After the novelty wears off he will begin to use ‘his’ time to ask you questions about the world around him, questions which you should answer very carefully and accurately, no matter what the subject might be. It would be very unfair to say, in an answer to an innocent question about sex for instance, ‘Now let’s don’t talk about nasty things like that.’ Answer him simply and fully, and with an absolute minimum of stammering and blushing on your part.

“Sometimes the child will want to spend ‘his’ time being held on your lap, and the special case might even want a bottle. Don’t tell him this is childish, and that he has outgrown such pursuits. Give him the bottle and hold him on your lap until he tires of this.

“Perhaps he will want to dramatize family difficulties, such as a recent argument between his parents. Fine. Go over it with him just as he desires. This will often release many locks formed during the unpleasant experience, not only those formed in the child, but if you are the parent involved, in yourself as well. When the child becomes assured that there are no strings attached to your offer of ‘his’ time, he will take full advantage of the opportunity to go over many details which have hurt him, and once returned to in this fashion, they will seldom bother him again.

“Then after a few periods spent in this way, ask if there is anything he wants to know, or anything he wants to talk about. Allow his dignity and enormous self-determinism to assert itself. Coax him to explain things to you, in his own language. When he runs across something which troubles him for a meaning, he will ask you, if you have gained his confidence. Sometimes when the child asks you a question which you are sure he should have known for some time, feed it back to him as another question, asking him what he thinks about it. This is often what the child really wants, and is only using the question as a means of opening discussion on the subject.

“During ‘his’ time, don’t ask why a certain thing happened, ask what happened. Explain why. If there is a need for giving him information use multivalued logic (right-maybe-wrong) and explain its use. As for the decisions which are made about any discussion, let him make his own decision, and do not tell him he is wrong. If you feel he has made a decidedly false assumption, save your comments for another period, and feed the appropriate questions, explanations and data again.

“Single-valued explanations or definitions are actually positive suggestion. To say a thing is unqualifiedly true is to attempt to make a child accept your decision about a subject. Never forget the qualifying data- ‘The dictionary says that white is the combination of all colors.’ ‘Grandmother told me she has never seen Pike’s Peak.’ By so saying the child is allowed to make his own evaluation as to whether or not the dictionary is right, or as to whether or not Grandmother ever actually visited Pike’s Peak. It might be that Grandmother told you one thing, and gave someone else another version.” LRH

OK, so in a nutshell every parent should spend some time with their child in this way. It increases the affinity for the parent and the child, it increases the reality and agreement between them and it puts them in better communication. The increase in these things make the child more willing to be controlled to do chores, get to bed on time, and to follow the rules of the house. And in disciplining them it is certainly the deciding factor that makes a child care that the parent is unhappy about whatever the situation is. I have seen many instances where children whose parents have been “too busy” to put this in, didn’t care that the parent was upset when the child was being disciplined . Their attitude became, “So?” or “Yeah, I expected you would do that!” (With a nasty attitude towards the parent.)

So for parents, it is very important to put this in daily. Without it, your child will go to the streets and to others for answers to their questions and in their teens this becomes prevalent, leaving them open to accept all kinds of false data about relationships, life and livingness!

But why does an auditor have to use this “his” time and play at the beginning of the session? Well most people do have the idea that it raises the affinity, reality and communication between the counselor and the child and that is true. It is also true however, that as a child is often too young to sit quietly with e-meter cans in their hands. How do you handle the child’s rudiments in the session in order to get the child interested in their own case and willing to talk to the auditor, rather than having their attention fixed on the toy their friend just pulled out of their hand, or the grounding they got last night, or the upset they just had with their brother or sister?

You see? So the auditor in their play will let the child “…dramatize family difficulties, such as a recent argument between his parents.” (as per LRH above) etc. A lot of time the child will cough up a problem they have and together with the auditor they can work out a handling before they get into the body of the session.

But let’s say the person is happy and flying along, then the auditor can take that time to hat the child on life basics through games. For instance I often teach kids about the ARC Triangle and how to use it to get along with friends. I will teach them the LRH datum about Be-Do-Have to teach them about how to earn things that they want for themselves. I teach them about how to attain a goal and use it to win a game and then go over how even life is a game. And I often teach them about postulates, how to make one and then we practice it in their games so they can win. And it is really fun to watch their postulates come to fruition and also to have them run back to session the next day to give me their wins on how it worked for them at school or at home!

And all this time they think they are just playing. So when they go home and the parent asks them what they did in session that day of course they are going to say, “We played the whole time.”

And honestly even in the body of the session itself a child might think a process is a game of sorts! I’ve had some very young child tell me when I say, “This is the session!”,“So this is your time to pick what game we play.”

So there you go. That is the mechanics of it if anyone has any questions! I hope this helps!

If you would like to be added to our e-mail list to receive LRH Technical tips weekly please contact us and we will be happy to add you to our list.

Wishing you miracles,

Diane DiGregorio Norgard
Mace-Kingsley Family Center
727-442-3922

A better understanding of what to tell teens about relationships

Posted on by wilson-admin-main

Today I want to take up a subject in which a lot of teens have been sent to me to “handle” their confusions on relationships.  At what point in their life is it acceptable to begin having sex? So let’s look at the basics on this and how to determine the right from the wrong in this area.

First, how do we determine what is good, and good for what reason?  Let’s look broadly at everything from the basis of, “What is going to be the best for our survival and give us the best survival potential across all areas of life?” That gives us a good starting point and foundation for planning and action.

One definition of good is: “being more successful than one is unsuccessful along constructive lines.” (Introduction to Scientology Ethics by L. Ron Hubbard)  If you understand that constructive means “that which is helpful” then you can easily see that if one’s actions are not helpful or constructive to one’s survival, then it is to that degree “not good”.

That sounds way too simple, right?  Well, it is simple to understand, just not so simple to act on. When you have a human body here on planet Earth that has its goal of “expanding the species” calling to you, urging you on in ways you sometimes can’t possibly understand at the moment it is happening, how do you stay at cause over this urging; this desperate push to release that tension and to know that you are doing it for the correct reasons?

To be fair to all teens, the human body is constructed to create and expand the species from about the age of 15 on.  It is not the teenagers’ fault that we’ve developed a society that does not give them the skills, opportunities or education to be able to easily and successfully raise a child at a young age.  So to accuse them of getting involved at too young an age for this society, or to constantly throw out examples and threats of how horrible their lives will be if they do, is unfair and not at all helpful.

What we can do is to teach them to reason well and to be in control of their bodies and lives in order to achieve the maximum long-term pleasure and survival they deserve.

So when teens come to me to be enlightened on this subject, this is what I go over with them:

In life there are eight different urges and ways in which we survive.  These eight different parts are called the 8 Dynamics.  For the purpose of this article, I am going to take up the first two (also from Introduction to Scientology Ethics).

The First Dynamic is:  The urge for survival as oneself.  The Second Dynamic is:  The urge to survive through a) sex (the procreation of the species) and b) the rearing of children.

Some teens have the misunderstanding of the Second Dynamic in thinking that because it has two parts to it, that the two parts can be separated and one can take up only part A and not include part B in it. Part B is the natural outcome and reason that part A exists.

The human body was designed so that the act of procreation is pleasurable. This drives the body to desire the act of sexual intercourse and urges the person to want to and (in some cases, feel they have to) engage in it.  This is the blueprint. This is the way the expansion of the species is guaranteed.  Therefore, it is (or should be) pleasurable to the individual experiencing it.  Without the second part of the Second Dynamic (the rearing of children) included as the product of part A, we’re really just talking about the First Dynamic!  It’s just you experiencing pleasure for yourself! — Right?

Let’s look at it more closely:  some guy (or girl) sees a cute girl (or guy) and says, “Yay!  I’ll be with that girl (or guy)!”  The next day they see someone else just as cute and, “Wooo!  I have to be with that girl (or guy)!”  And so on.

Before long they have a pregnancy, possibly with someone who does not have the same intentions and goals as they do. Or maybe they’re not with the person they MOST wanted to be with.  They then lose the opportunity to be with that person they most want to or really should be with. Worse yet, they may now have some sexually transmitted disease that they will have to deal with for the rest of their adult life, threatening their future relationships or even their lives.

Is that constructive?  Is that the best possible survival?

When you enter the game of love and romance, you should play that game with the intention of winning. What is winning in the game of love? It would be to establish a long-term relationship with someone you truly care for and want to spend your life with.

If someone were to take control and decide what their personal goals are and decide exactly what they need and want from a partner on a long-term basis, they could then have the control to just “date”. They could become good friends and have fun with anyone they want until such time as they find the individual that really fits those goals, needs and wants. They might then consider having protected sex knowing that if a pregnancy were to occur that they, together as a team, would enjoy their time together raising that child. Wouldn’t that bring a greater survival potential?  Wouldn’t that be more constructive?

       When you pick a romantic partner, you are picking a person whom you are essentially agreeing to take responsibility for and them for you.  I find that people believe that one can be happily part of a group and that your friends and that group will help and aid your survival. That may be true, and a good friend and group will do that, but caring for you personally is not the responsibility of the group.

      I am not saying that you don’t take responsibility for yourself, but I am saying that in choosing a family, these are the people you are agreeing to help. This is true when they are sick, whether you are going to take up the financial slack for them, get them food and medicine or help them in and out of bed. In some cases, this could mean even cleaning up their sickness or wiping their bottoms.

      You are committing yourself and saying that you care enough and love this person enough that you would be willing to do all this if needed.  You should also ensure that your prospective partner is committing to the same thing, as that would give you the greatest survival potential in return.  Others may help, but family members are the ones that are expected by society to be there for this function. When they are not there to assist to any degree, it is a hardship on your friends and society as a whole.

      On the up side of that, when you make that commitment to another, you are also committing to the joy and fun of sharing a life together. This should be more often the case than the above scenario.  If you truly are caring for each other, you are much less likely to have illness and injuries occurring in your life. You will have way more fun.  You will be there to cheer each other on and support each other in your personal and mutual endeavors.  The two of you will work against all counter-intentions to achieve your goals both as individuals and as a family.

      Consider this concept. Work out all the ways you have not seen it this way. Then inspect all the ways you have seen it this way.  Observe for yourself what is really true about what I have written here and what isn’t. You’ll then find out for yourself which is the best, most constructive and most survival course to take.

      I hope this helps in understanding this subject better.  I am interested in hearing your thoughts on what I’ve expressed here.

Wishing you joy,

Diane DiGregorio Norgard
Mace-Kingsley Family Center
727-442-3922

The Value of Play

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Today I want to address the value of play and specifically the type of “play” there is.   One of the most amazing definitions of “play” I ever found was when a friend of mine was defining it by distinguishing play from work:  “Play should be called ‘work without a purpose’.  It could also be called ‘activity without purpose.’  That would make work be defined as ‘activity with a purpose.’”

Isn’t that a cool definition!  For work to be work you would have to have a known purpose and then causatively work towards that.

But play now!  You could randomly just imagine and invent things and run and count and do all kinds of things because they bring you pleasure with no purpose at all!

Well if that is the case, then what would be the purpose of play at all?  Shouldn’t all activities be directed and calculated to have a more productive life?  OK … so let’s look at it.

First of all, when we play we feel happy generally.  Even if it includes work such as walking, building, working out a puzzle of sorts, it is because we chose it for no real purpose at all and the win of it makes us happy!  That in itself has some really strong survival potentials.  A happy person is extroverted in his viewpoints, he is looking out at others and helping and creating “out there”.  A sad introverted person tends to be looking in at himself, his pictures and thoughts, therefore not seeing the world outside around him as well; not as able to see trouble coming in and so not as able to avert it physically or with reason.

Secondly, in play, especially for children, we learn skills that have survival potential.  Let’s for a second look at what survival potential jumping rope or playing tag has.  A person is jumping, using vital muscles, increasing heart rate, boosting metabolism and oxygen in the body and strengthening bones.  Tag, same thing but now you are adding some dexterity and depth perception to the game.

Let’s take board games:  we are learning about taking turns, that it is OK to lose sometimes and that in fact, it is a crucial part to having a game. We learn from losing as much as we enjoy the win of winning.  Often in board games we must count, read letters, words and numbers, sometimes we have to do math.  These are all good survival factors.

All of the arts hone our skills and teach us better control of our bodies and our imagination, which is so important to creating a future and resolving problems.

Now let’s compare this to some of the video and computer games that are out there:  the person is sitting in front of a screen for hours at a time.  OK, good exercise for the typing skills and maybe some reasoning, but most of these games that I’ve seen have been violent in nature.  The person is sitting there “led” for hours at a time — the rest of the body atrophying away.  And the other games I’ve seen have game scenarios that are a substitute for living.  Instead of going out to a soccer field to play soccer, where one would interact with a group of people, exercise their muscles and work as a team; the person is usually alone or with one other person exercising their typing and reasoning skills.  Yes it is still play, as for that individual it is enjoyable and purposeless.  But the quality of this sort of hypnotic play and the sort of play mentioned above have far less survival factors for the person.  Maybe I am wrong and have not seen all the games out there, but the ones I have seen often bypass the person’s imagination.  Even when it seems like it is leading you to use your imagination, it is limiting you in giving you only choices arising from someone else’s created imaginings.  This could tend to lead down a road of robotical thinking for children.

So what is my pitch here?  Well this is it: I want to encourage parents to shoo your kids out of the house to go play. Even if they have no one to play with they can find a stick to carve or a bunch of marbles to make a game with.  And if more parents shooed their kids out of the house then there would be kids to play tag with.  And if you provided them with jump ropes and balls they would jump rope and play catch.  When the TV and computers are not available, kids will play!  It is what we all do.

And at home have lots of puzzles and board games and cards around to play. And once a week have a game night with your kids where you all sit around playing the game.  You can even have a story night where you pick a story you like to read.  One family I know would put on plays for each other. They actually read something like Oliver Twist and each took a part or two and acted it out.  Occasionally they sang or danced for each other.  So much more fun than just being a spectator watching others entertain us.

Well, there it is.  I’m giving myself this same advice!  I don’t claim to be perfect or a saint.  I totally admit that I continually need to be reminded to turn off that computer or the television.  But when I do, I and my kids are always better for it.

Wishing you magic in your world,

Diane DiGregorio Norgard
Mace-Kingsley Family Center
727-442-3922

 

 

What Exactly is a Fair Exchange Between Parent and Child?

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The other day my teenage daughter asked me a question that totally took me by surprise.  In my studies and upbringing, the idea of “exchange” is an important part of life and of surviving well.  The concept is easy and clearly observable:  you will receive help and cooperation to the degree that you give help and cooperation.  It is taught in every religion and family in the world.
So for all her life my daughter has heard at home, in church, at school, “it is important to keep your exchange in with the people around you.”  And honestly in most cases she is very good about doing just that but not always.  Sometimes she just wants to “relax” or “do her own thing” instead of cleaning or helping me out with a particular something.  It is a common problem between teens and parents.  Some teens are better than others and not all teens have had the advantages other teens have, but in one fashion or another I have heard this problem come up in my counseling sessions both from the parents and from the teens themselves.  Frustration abounds.One thing became abundantly clear to me when my daughter asked me, “How can I possibly be in exchange with a person who carried me for nine months, cared for me, gave me everything and has helped me my whole life?”  When she asked, I was at first surprised and then discovered that I was no longer confused about any of her unexplainable behaviors.  It was a completely fair and honest question.My mind raced to all the things my parents and grandparents taught me and to the teachings of a dear friend of mine: 
“Continually in this society, you’ll find a sixteen-, seventeen-, eighteen-year-old kid is in a high state of revolt. ‘Papa, Mama – they’re no good anymore; they’re old-fashioned. They can’t understand. They wouldn’t be able to understand a woman of the world.’ Or a man of the world, as the case may be. ‘They don’t have a person’s best interests…’“All the kid is trying to do there in his teens is simply break this ‘You’re helping me, you’re helping me, you’re helping me. I’ve got to do something about it because I’m getting owned, owned, owned. And I don’t own myself anymore. And I’m getting worried about it, so I’ve got to protest, and I’ll find anything to protest against.’ And the kid at that stage will have the doggonedest things wrong with his parents. Oh, he has just terrific numbers of things. The parents have done this and done that and done this and done that to him. And actually, what he can’t face is the fact that his mother fed him every day.”  – L. Ron Hubbard,  from Route to Infinity, Lecture #6 May 21, 1952All these things went racing through my head and so I wanted to answer her as simply as I could since honestly, I have felt exactly like that myself!  Yes, even adult children find themselves at one point or another asking that question regarding their parents.  It would be so easy to become overwhelmed and just say it is impossible and then start to become critical of their parents.
With little children it seems easier and clearer than with babies and teens and adults for some reason.  You tell them, “I will buy you this toy if you clean your room every night before bed.”  Simple. “I will give you a dollar if you clean up the living room.”  It’s very clear-cut.But parents seldom tell their infant daughter or son what their exchange with the family is.  Now that must sound crazy to you right?  But a lot of times when a parent brings a inconsolable baby to me in desperation, telling me the doctor could find nothing wrong; no gas, no physical maladies, no observable physical discomfort, the first thing I do is ask them if they told the infant that they want him/her and totally intend to keep him/her.The second thing I do is find out if they told the baby what their job is in the family.  And when I tell the child, “Your job right now, until you are older is to grow this body very healthy and strong, to sleep and eat well and to get as many smiles as you can from others,” I swear, every time I do this they stop crying and either become very calm or smile!  To which others around them smile and I tell them, “See, you are winning already!”OK – so that is for babies and young children. What then is the answer to my daughter’s question? I simply told her what is true for me:
“At this age and through your adult life a good exchange for me would be:  be self- sufficient as you can be.  Get yourself up on time in the morning; help us get out of the house on time. Get a good education, be interested in your studies, do good work and help your teachers gear your education to your purpose in life so you will be happy in your education and your future work.  Start earning things that you want for yourself to take some of the burden off of me.  Be vigilant in your relationships with your friends so that you and they are kept safe and healthy but can still have a good time. Help out at home as much as you can.  If you see I have work responsibilities that are taking a lot of time, pitch in and help more.        “But first and foremost, stay in good communication.  Eighteen years old is the time when we move from being a child into becoming a friend to our parents if we want that.  I would like for you to be a friend so that when we are together we can laugh and have fun and exchange ideas and ideologies. Live a happy and successful life and be willing to allow me to share it with you by staying in communication with me.      “Then as I grow older, it might be a nice exchange for you to help me out as you can, if you can. And if not in any other way, then call me and come to visit with me.”
After I said this my daughter actually let out a sigh as if she had been holding her breath forever. I am not saying that if you tell your teenager what you expect as an exchange it will then suddenly all go smoothly for you, but it might.  I do recognize that in their struggle for independence that mistakes are made and conflicting expectations result in secrets that need to be dealt with. They must be dealt with and confronted.I am saying though that in order to do a job well done and to not make mistakes, the boundaries and expectations must be known and understood.Let’s be honest here – a fair exchange for a child (regardless of age) to a parent is not always an immediate thing.  Sometimes it takes time, even years for the opportunity to come up.  On one visit to my parent’s house, my mother was sick; an unusual thing for her even at 83 years of age.  She was upset for me that I was assisting her and helping her to get cleaned up.  All that ran through my mind was how many times she cleaned up after me when I was a baby and when I was sick.  How many times had she given me a hand up as an adult when I ran into some difficulty?  To me this was not an obligation.  “Are you kidding Mommy?  This is nothing.  I love you; this is love.”  And that is exchange.I hope that this article helps you and gives you a guide of what to tell your children about their exchange to you as parents.  Exchange is a very important part of surviving well.  Let’s help them understand it well.

Wishing you certainty,
Diane DiGregorio Norgard
Mace-Kingsley Family Center
You can reach me at 727-442-3922