Sin da quando quell’orsetto lavatore è caduto dal soffitto del bagno sono un po’ titubante ad entrare in quello spazio. Non so se avete mai avuto un orsetto lavatore che cade giù dal soffitto, ma è un’esperienza che uno non si dimentica tanto presto! Aveva fatto la tana in soffitta e cadde giù dal soffitto proprio vicino alla mia vasca da bagno. Mi sono messa a cantare sperando che lui si rilassasse visto era probabilmente più traumatizzato di me.
Mi ha ricordato un po’ dell’uomo nero che viveva sotto il mio letto di notte, quando ero bambina. Ero sicura che mi avrebbe afferrato per un braccio o una gamba se li avessi messi fuori dal lenzuolo. Crescendo, nel Nuovo Messico, faceva caldo di notte, ma non importava quanto caldo fosse; stare sotto quel lenzuolo mi avrebbe protetto!
Non ho mai realmente visto l’uomo nero ma mio fratello mi aveva convinto che l’uomo nero, di fatto, vivesse sotto il mio letto. Quella era la mia realtà.
Per un bambino la realtà è una cosa vaga. Può essere in un modo ora e domani avere un aspetto completamente diverso. È meraviglioso per un bambino quando ogni giorno è un mondo nuovo di zecca! Una delle attività più gratificanti che un genitore può svolgere con il suo bambino è quella di trascorrere del tempo con il bambino essendo interessato a ciò che è reale al bambino. Entrare nella realtà di un bambino può essere molto terapeutico anche per il genitore!
La comunicazione tra il bambino e gli adulti intorno a lui soffre spesso di una notevole mancanza di realtà. I genitori vogliono essere in comunicazione con il loro bambino e il bambino sta cercando disperatamente di essere in comunicazione con i genitori. Si amano teneramente. L’ingrediente mancante è la realtà. Passando del tempo con il bambino, facendo le cose a cui il bambino è interessato, e col genitore davvero interessato a ciò per cui il bambino ha interesse, una nuova realtà comune aprirà la porta a un livello completamente nuovo di amore e comunicazione, sia per il bambino che il genitore. E questo funzionerà per persone di qualsiasi età e in ogni tipo di relazione.
Posso dirvi che per me ha davvero funzionato il giorno in cui io e mia madre facemmo pulizia sotto il mio letto e lei mi aiutò a cercare possibili tracce dell’uomo nero. Non riuscimmo a trovarlo da nessuna parte. Mi disse che probabilmente si era trasferito, forse sotto il letto di mio fratello. Per me andava bene! La amavo così tanto per avermi aiutato a cercare l’uomo nero! Dopo di allora, potevamo parlare di qualsiasi cosa.
Si può imparare molto di più su come migliorare le relazioni nel libro UNA NUOVA OTTICA SULLA VITA di L. Ron Hubbard. Lo dice chiaro e semplice. E FUNZIONA!
Grazie per condividere la mia realtà!
Carol Kingsley
Sull’autore
Author: wilson-admin-main
Un triciclo a due ruote
Avevo circa 5 anni quando una ruota si staccò dal mio triciclo preferito. Cercai di riattaccarla ma continuava a rompersi. Quindi la cosa più ovvia da fare dal mio punto di vista era di imparare ad andare sul triciclo con due ruote invece di tre. E quello si trasformò in un’avventura incredibile. Potevo fare i “volteggi” andando giù per il viale a tutta velocità, atterrando poi e volteggiando sull’asse della ruota mancante. Era una favola!
Velocità, movimento, tantissima azione! Quello era ciò per cui vivevo da bambino. Accidenti se era divertente.
I miei genitori non mi hanno mai insegnato ad avere paura. Non mi hanno mai insegnato che non potevo fare qualcosa. Beh, almeno non ho mai imparato che non potuto fare le cose. Ho sempre pensato che potevo fare qualsiasi cosa se lo volevo davvero, come guidare un triciclo a due ruote.
Ma c’era questa vecchia signora poche case più giù a cui non piaceva tutta quest’attività provenire da me e dai i miei amici dell’isolato. Diventava “nervosa” e “preoccupata che potessimo farci male”. Usciva fuori e urlava e ci mandava via dal suo cortile. (Viveva all’angolo e aveva dei fantastici alberi su cui arrampicarsi).
Tutti questo movimento e quest’azione (e forse qualche scoppio fragoroso di risate) erano troppo per lei. Lei voleva che fossimo silenziosi e immobili. Fermi. Il bambino perfetto; visto e non sentito.
Che persona triste era. Voleva fermare le cose nella sua vita e questo si estendeva al punto di cercare di fermare le persone attorno a lei. Ma noi bambini ci spostavamo giù sull’altra estremità dell’isolato e continuavamo a divertirci da matti.
Che gioia vedere un bambino che si sente sicuro di poter controllare il proprio ambiente. Un bambino che è sveglio, in comunicazione, che vuole contribuire e che lavora per il maggior bene per tutti i coinvolti. Questo è possibile.
E quale tesoro è trovare un genitore che può tollerare i “disastri” causati da un bambino che sta imparando come diventare sicuro di sé e in controllo. Un genitore di buon cuore, amorevole, che ha la pazienza di un santo per aiutare il bambino a riappropriarsi del proprio universo è il pilastro della nostra futura generazione.
Ho imparato molto su come aiutare i bambini e i genitori a raggiungere questo obiettivo da un libro intitolato UNA NUOVA OTTICA SULLA VITA, di L. Ron Hubbard. Se sei interessato ad aiutare il tuo bambino, tuo nipote o il figlio del vicino a essere più felice, acquistane una copia e leggilo.
Sorriderai anche tu.
A Two-Wheeled Tricycle
I was about 5 years old when the wheel came off my favorite tricycle. I tried to stick it back on but it kept coming off. So the obvious thing to do from my viewpoint was to learn to ride the tricycle with two wheels instead of three. And that became an awesome adventure. I could do ‘spins’ by going down the driveway real fast and then slamming down on the axle of the missing wheel and just whirl. It was a blast!
Speed, motion, lots of action! That was what I lived for as a child. Golly, it was fun.
My parents never taught me to be afraid. They never taught me that I couldn’t do things; well, at least I never learned that I couldn’t do things. I always thought I could do anything if I really wanted to, like riding a two-wheeled tricycle.
But there was this old lady a few houses down who didn’t like all this motion coming from me and my friends on the block. She would get ‘nervous’ and ‘worried that we were going to get hurt’. She would come out and yell at us and run us off her yard. (She lived on the corner and had great trees to climb.)
All this motion and action (and maybe loud peals of laughter) were too much for her. She wanted us to be quiet and motionless. Still. The perfect child; seen and not heard.
What a sad person she was. She wanted to stop things in her own life and it spilled over to trying to stop others in her environment. But as kids, we just moved on down to the other end of the block and continued to have outrageous fun.
What a joy it is to see a child who has the self-confidence to control his own environment. A child who is bright, in communication, wants to contribute and works toward the greatest good for all concerned. This is possible.
And what a treasure it is to find a parent who can tolerate the calamities of a child learning how to be self-confident and in control. A good-hearted, loving parent who has the patience of a saint to help the child regain possession of his own universe is the pillar of our future generation.
I have learned a lot about how to help children and parents achieve this goal from a book called NEW SLANT ON LIFE by L. Ron Hubbard. If you are interested in helping your child, grandchild, or neighbor’s child be happier, get a copy and read it.
You will smile too.
The Singing Cowboys
My dad worked in the Hilton Hotel in Ft. Worth, Texas when he and my mom married. As newly weds that’s where they lived, The Hilton Hotel. It was the late 1930’s and Gene Autry and his singing cowboys were staying at the same hotel. Unaware that anyone was listening, my dad sang while he worked. But Gene Autry was listening. He liked what he heard and invited my dad to join his tour with the singing cowboys.
It was a life changing decision; take the risk of go on the road with an up and coming entertainer or stay “safe” in the job at the hotel. My dad said “No” to that opportunity. He was unsure of himself and he didn’t know all of the words or enough songs. He lived with that “what could have been” for the rest of his life.
I loved him dearly and enjoyed his singing all of his life even though he wasn’t famous! I have learned from his story.
Being competent takes a bit of action; like looking and observing life directly, not through a veil of prejudice or fear or as others tell you what to see. Just Look. In my dad’s case it is clear now “what could have been” but at that time a good look would have helped give him the confidence to step out into a new adventure to follow his dream.
Another part of being competent is learning. An important step of learning is sorting out the false data from the true. Like in the entertainment world “everyone knows” that it is filled with immoral and loose people; it is hard to make it as an entertainer; only a few succeed… etc. etc. Enough of this false data can stop anyone from reaching for his dream.
Also learning brings about knowledge of the correct data. Knowing all of the words to the song and knowing that you know the words! This applies to any field of endeavor. How do you do it? What are the skills to do what you want to do? This takes a bit of learning. And then you Practice!
Being blessed with the natural talent or love for something is awesome. And then to develop that gift by practice and being able to do it with certainty puts an individual into the realm of a true professional.
Happiness and competence go hand in hand. You can read more about this in L. Ron Hubbard’s booklet THE WAY TO HAPPINESS®.
I hope you and your family find the happiness of bringing your dreams to reality. And I hope you enjoy a good song along the way!
Carol Kingsley
I Have Seen Hope and It Is…
I saw a teenage boy learn that intention is cause. We had talked about it during one of my seminars. He accepted that it could be so even though he had a small body and was a bit timid. Then he found himself in a baseball game. He was at bat. His intention was to hit the ball as hard as he could. He did. It was a home run. He told me he made it happen and now he knew his intention worked. He is now a young man; an executive in our Church.
I saw a teenage girl learn that she was worth something. She knew she was beautiful. She knew her family was well-off. She had most anything she wanted. She was an OBJECT of much admiration. But she was an object. She was throwing her life away on destructive activities. Then she learned that she was not an object but a being. She learned that she could help and she could make a difference in the lives of others. She learned how to care. She learned how valuable she really was. She had her life repaired. Now she is a successful mom and physical fitness trainer. She makes a difference.
I saw a teenager girl who was using drugs and giving her body away for sexual favors learn that she had integrity and morals. She had been seeking friends in all the wrong places. Then when the police searched her for drugs it was a wake up call. Who really were her friends? She found she had some, including me. She learned the magic of using the Ethics Book; she changed the conditions in her life and is now on her way to a successful career helping others.
I saw a family torn apart in the strife of rebellion from their teenage daughter learn that they could love again. She was beautiful. She was smart. Her family was affluent. She had it all. And she was throwing it away with drugs, sex and failing grades. Then she got into a safe environment and was audited. She learned her parents were her friends and that the reason for the difficulty was she had secrets from them. She got the secrets off to her parents and they loved her even more for it. Now her parents are Grandparents and she is a happy mom with a great husband and a successful career. Her life was repaired.
I saw a young boy who was full of fear and violence learn to be kind. When he drew pictures it was of war, explosions, monsters, weapons and fighting. His pictures were heavily drawn in pencil strokes making it all the more bleak and black. He had trouble getting along with others and had been bouncing from one school to another because of discipline problems. He finally got audited. The fear and violence went away and was replaced with fun and vitality. He had his life repaired. He is now Clear, lives in Europe and is training and auditing on the upper levels of the Bridge.
I saw the news today and it made life sound sad, bad and bloody. They need their life repaired.
I saw young people today at Mace- Kingsley come smiling out of session, getting their life repaired.
I saw hope and it is alive and well.
He Could But He Wouldn’t
“His books were covered in drawings. His scratch paper was covered in drawings. And they were good, even if angry and violent in content. But he wouldn’t draw for art class. He refused to participate. His art was personal and not for others.
“The Art Teacher was a person who could walk the walk as well as talk the talk. Her art hung in some of the best galleries in London as well as in the homes of such celebrities as Steven Speilberg and others. She knew what she was doing. But he wouldn’t participate.
“He was 16 and from a ‘gang’ somewhere in California. He came to this school, which was located in a beautiful wilderness, so he would have a change of environment. His parents wanted to give him a chance to find his place in the world; a chance for him to realize his true potential and be happy in life. But he wouldn’t participate.
“The Art Teacher knew her stuff. She spent time with the boy, getting to know him and earning his trust. What she learned from him was that it was against the moral code of the ‘gang’ to share his art in a positive way. Graffiti was ok. Art projects that others admired was not ok. His art was only to be used for destructive purposes.
“Talk about suppression of the creativity of an artist! This was upside down! Artists are the dream-makers of society. They give beauty and pleasure to existence. They are God-like in their ability to make something out of nothing.
“Thank goodness this Art Teacher was also highly trained in Scientology Counseling. On a very easy gradient she was able to guide the boy into inspecting the ‘gang’ moral code and free himself of this suppression. He was no longer stopped. He could participate.
“She used a universally known booklet called THE WAY TO HAPPINESS. This booklet was written by L. Ron Hubbard to give us a moral code based wholly on common sense and one which is entirely nonreligious in nature. It carries no other appeal than to the good sense of the individual who reads it. It is simple to read, yet life changing in the power of its application.
“Every parent should have this booklet as a guide for answering those profound questions that each child has; for all of those, ‘Why?’ and ‘How come?’ questions from your child. For both the parent and the child, it can help bring about happiness in the home.
“By the way, the 16 year old boy is now grown and has a successful career as an artist in the music industry. I am very proud of him!
“With Wishes for Happiness in Your Life,”
Carol Kingsley