Happy 90th Birthday!

My mom had her 90th Birthday last month. She didn’t want people to know how old she was because her 80 year old friends would think she was old.

So don’t tell.

She still lives in her home with two cats, a crippled dog and a bird. We have three ladies who come throughout the day to help her with whatever she needs. The evening home care lady takes my mom and her dog for a walk around the block holding on to my mom on one hand and bridging the other to hold the leash on the dog. It is quite a sight as they make this trek.

Her goal is to make it to 96 and I believe she will make it.

Goals are a funny thing. If you make them big enough they will usually last for many years as a goal. I know sometimes when the family is talking about their common goals for group survival the desired objective may be something immediate and temporary… like a trip to Disney World or a new TV. But as the discussion continues I have seen their originations turn to lasting goals such as having happiness and love in the family.

Families are individuals coming together for survival and common goals. A family can be strengthened by sharing their goals, letting each member of the family say what they are doing to help each of the other family members. Take turns and listen to what each member feels they are doing to help the others. Then again taking turns, validate each of the others for what they are doing to help the individual. Sometimes one of the family members is being helped and the one helping doesn’t even know he is creating that kind of effect.

It is like an awakening of what is really happening in the family, what the various hats are and how each family member is contributing to make it all work. Knowing that you have a hat in the family and can do the functions of that hat is what gives the individual a feeling of belonging. Especially for children.

It was quite a shock for one family I was helping when their boy discovered he had two main hats; he was a son and he was a Big Brother. All of a sudden he was valuable and important to the group. The rebellion that he had been entertaining dropped away. He explained to me what a son’s job was and that he wanted his parents to be proud of him. He detailed what the job of a Big Brother was. His little brother was listening and becoming aware of more to their relationship than the teasing and competition. They had care for each other. They had love for each other. Stating it made it more real.

I love helping people achieve their goals. Total Freedom is one of those BIG GOALS that has enduring value. It is a big enough goal that all parts of one’s life can align to achieving it. Thanks be to L. Ron Hubbard that we have a The Bridge through which we can achieve it.

It is one of my goals, to help beings to be free and to be free myself.

I have learned very much about the family and goals from reading the book, “CHILD DIANETICS”, by L. Ron Hubbard. In fact the ideas I discussed above about how to bring a family together are laid out in the Introduction of this book. Each paragraph of the Introduction is an education on family and children, stated simply and with common sense.

Read it for yourself. Even if you don’t have children, you have a family of some sort and it still applies.

As you create your future for you and your family, may you all Flourish and Prosper in what you do. Dream your dreams and make them real. Be Free.

Happy Birthday, Mom. And may you have many more.

Carol Kingsley

Helping Families Come Together

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