A better understanding of what to tell teens about relationships

Category: Parent Hatting

A better understanding of what to tell teens about relationships

Posted on by wilson-admin-main

Today I want to take up a subject in which a lot of teens have been sent to me to “handle” their confusions on relationships.  At what point in their life is it acceptable to begin having sex? So let’s look at the basics on this and how to determine the right from the wrong in this area.

First, how do we determine what is good, and good for what reason?  Let’s look broadly at everything from the basis of, “What is going to be the best for our survival and give us the best survival potential across all areas of life?” That gives us a good starting point and foundation for planning and action.

One definition of good is: “being more successful than one is unsuccessful along constructive lines.” (Introduction to Scientology Ethics by L. Ron Hubbard)  If you understand that constructive means “that which is helpful” then you can easily see that if one’s actions are not helpful or constructive to one’s survival, then it is to that degree “not good”.

That sounds way too simple, right?  Well, it is simple to understand, just not so simple to act on. When you have a human body here on planet Earth that has its goal of “expanding the species” calling to you, urging you on in ways you sometimes can’t possibly understand at the moment it is happening, how do you stay at cause over this urging; this desperate push to release that tension and to know that you are doing it for the correct reasons?

To be fair to all teens, the human body is constructed to create and expand the species from about the age of 15 on.  It is not the teenagers’ fault that we’ve developed a society that does not give them the skills, opportunities or education to be able to easily and successfully raise a child at a young age.  So to accuse them of getting involved at too young an age for this society, or to constantly throw out examples and threats of how horrible their lives will be if they do, is unfair and not at all helpful.

What we can do is to teach them to reason well and to be in control of their bodies and lives in order to achieve the maximum long-term pleasure and survival they deserve.

So when teens come to me to be enlightened on this subject, this is what I go over with them:

In life there are eight different urges and ways in which we survive.  These eight different parts are called the 8 Dynamics.  For the purpose of this article, I am going to take up the first two (also from Introduction to Scientology Ethics).

The First Dynamic is:  The urge for survival as oneself.  The Second Dynamic is:  The urge to survive through a) sex (the procreation of the species) and b) the rearing of children.

Some teens have the misunderstanding of the Second Dynamic in thinking that because it has two parts to it, that the two parts can be separated and one can take up only part A and not include part B in it. Part B is the natural outcome and reason that part A exists.

The human body was designed so that the act of procreation is pleasurable. This drives the body to desire the act of sexual intercourse and urges the person to want to and (in some cases, feel they have to) engage in it.  This is the blueprint. This is the way the expansion of the species is guaranteed.  Therefore, it is (or should be) pleasurable to the individual experiencing it.  Without the second part of the Second Dynamic (the rearing of children) included as the product of part A, we’re really just talking about the First Dynamic!  It’s just you experiencing pleasure for yourself! — Right?

Let’s look at it more closely:  some guy (or girl) sees a cute girl (or guy) and says, “Yay!  I’ll be with that girl (or guy)!”  The next day they see someone else just as cute and, “Wooo!  I have to be with that girl (or guy)!”  And so on.

Before long they have a pregnancy, possibly with someone who does not have the same intentions and goals as they do. Or maybe they’re not with the person they MOST wanted to be with.  They then lose the opportunity to be with that person they most want to or really should be with. Worse yet, they may now have some sexually transmitted disease that they will have to deal with for the rest of their adult life, threatening their future relationships or even their lives.

Is that constructive?  Is that the best possible survival?

When you enter the game of love and romance, you should play that game with the intention of winning. What is winning in the game of love? It would be to establish a long-term relationship with someone you truly care for and want to spend your life with.

If someone were to take control and decide what their personal goals are and decide exactly what they need and want from a partner on a long-term basis, they could then have the control to just “date”. They could become good friends and have fun with anyone they want until such time as they find the individual that really fits those goals, needs and wants. They might then consider having protected sex knowing that if a pregnancy were to occur that they, together as a team, would enjoy their time together raising that child. Wouldn’t that bring a greater survival potential?  Wouldn’t that be more constructive?

       When you pick a romantic partner, you are picking a person whom you are essentially agreeing to take responsibility for and them for you.  I find that people believe that one can be happily part of a group and that your friends and that group will help and aid your survival. That may be true, and a good friend and group will do that, but caring for you personally is not the responsibility of the group.

      I am not saying that you don’t take responsibility for yourself, but I am saying that in choosing a family, these are the people you are agreeing to help. This is true when they are sick, whether you are going to take up the financial slack for them, get them food and medicine or help them in and out of bed. In some cases, this could mean even cleaning up their sickness or wiping their bottoms.

      You are committing yourself and saying that you care enough and love this person enough that you would be willing to do all this if needed.  You should also ensure that your prospective partner is committing to the same thing, as that would give you the greatest survival potential in return.  Others may help, but family members are the ones that are expected by society to be there for this function. When they are not there to assist to any degree, it is a hardship on your friends and society as a whole.

      On the up side of that, when you make that commitment to another, you are also committing to the joy and fun of sharing a life together. This should be more often the case than the above scenario.  If you truly are caring for each other, you are much less likely to have illness and injuries occurring in your life. You will have way more fun.  You will be there to cheer each other on and support each other in your personal and mutual endeavors.  The two of you will work against all counter-intentions to achieve your goals both as individuals and as a family.

      Consider this concept. Work out all the ways you have not seen it this way. Then inspect all the ways you have seen it this way.  Observe for yourself what is really true about what I have written here and what isn’t. You’ll then find out for yourself which is the best, most constructive and most survival course to take.

      I hope this helps in understanding this subject better.  I am interested in hearing your thoughts on what I’ve expressed here.

Wishing you joy,

Diane DiGregorio Norgard
Mace-Kingsley Family Center
727-442-3922

The Value of Play

Posted on by wilson-admin-main

Today I want to address the value of play and specifically the type of “play” there is.   One of the most amazing definitions of “play” I ever found was when a friend of mine was defining it by distinguishing play from work:  “Play should be called ‘work without a purpose’.  It could also be called ‘activity without purpose.’  That would make work be defined as ‘activity with a purpose.’”

Isn’t that a cool definition!  For work to be work you would have to have a known purpose and then causatively work towards that.

But play now!  You could randomly just imagine and invent things and run and count and do all kinds of things because they bring you pleasure with no purpose at all!

Well if that is the case, then what would be the purpose of play at all?  Shouldn’t all activities be directed and calculated to have a more productive life?  OK … so let’s look at it.

First of all, when we play we feel happy generally.  Even if it includes work such as walking, building, working out a puzzle of sorts, it is because we chose it for no real purpose at all and the win of it makes us happy!  That in itself has some really strong survival potentials.  A happy person is extroverted in his viewpoints, he is looking out at others and helping and creating “out there”.  A sad introverted person tends to be looking in at himself, his pictures and thoughts, therefore not seeing the world outside around him as well; not as able to see trouble coming in and so not as able to avert it physically or with reason.

Secondly, in play, especially for children, we learn skills that have survival potential.  Let’s for a second look at what survival potential jumping rope or playing tag has.  A person is jumping, using vital muscles, increasing heart rate, boosting metabolism and oxygen in the body and strengthening bones.  Tag, same thing but now you are adding some dexterity and depth perception to the game.

Let’s take board games:  we are learning about taking turns, that it is OK to lose sometimes and that in fact, it is a crucial part to having a game. We learn from losing as much as we enjoy the win of winning.  Often in board games we must count, read letters, words and numbers, sometimes we have to do math.  These are all good survival factors.

All of the arts hone our skills and teach us better control of our bodies and our imagination, which is so important to creating a future and resolving problems.

Now let’s compare this to some of the video and computer games that are out there:  the person is sitting in front of a screen for hours at a time.  OK, good exercise for the typing skills and maybe some reasoning, but most of these games that I’ve seen have been violent in nature.  The person is sitting there “led” for hours at a time — the rest of the body atrophying away.  And the other games I’ve seen have game scenarios that are a substitute for living.  Instead of going out to a soccer field to play soccer, where one would interact with a group of people, exercise their muscles and work as a team; the person is usually alone or with one other person exercising their typing and reasoning skills.  Yes it is still play, as for that individual it is enjoyable and purposeless.  But the quality of this sort of hypnotic play and the sort of play mentioned above have far less survival factors for the person.  Maybe I am wrong and have not seen all the games out there, but the ones I have seen often bypass the person’s imagination.  Even when it seems like it is leading you to use your imagination, it is limiting you in giving you only choices arising from someone else’s created imaginings.  This could tend to lead down a road of robotical thinking for children.

So what is my pitch here?  Well this is it: I want to encourage parents to shoo your kids out of the house to go play. Even if they have no one to play with they can find a stick to carve or a bunch of marbles to make a game with.  And if more parents shooed their kids out of the house then there would be kids to play tag with.  And if you provided them with jump ropes and balls they would jump rope and play catch.  When the TV and computers are not available, kids will play!  It is what we all do.

And at home have lots of puzzles and board games and cards around to play. And once a week have a game night with your kids where you all sit around playing the game.  You can even have a story night where you pick a story you like to read.  One family I know would put on plays for each other. They actually read something like Oliver Twist and each took a part or two and acted it out.  Occasionally they sang or danced for each other.  So much more fun than just being a spectator watching others entertain us.

Well, there it is.  I’m giving myself this same advice!  I don’t claim to be perfect or a saint.  I totally admit that I continually need to be reminded to turn off that computer or the television.  But when I do, I and my kids are always better for it.

Wishing you magic in your world,

Diane DiGregorio Norgard
Mace-Kingsley Family Center
727-442-3922

 

 

What Exactly is a Fair Exchange Between Parent and Child?

Posted on by wilson-admin-main

The other day my teenage daughter asked me a question that totally took me by surprise.  In my studies and upbringing, the idea of “exchange” is an important part of life and of surviving well.  The concept is easy and clearly observable:  you will receive help and cooperation to the degree that you give help and cooperation.  It is taught in every religion and family in the world.
So for all her life my daughter has heard at home, in church, at school, “it is important to keep your exchange in with the people around you.”  And honestly in most cases she is very good about doing just that but not always.  Sometimes she just wants to “relax” or “do her own thing” instead of cleaning or helping me out with a particular something.  It is a common problem between teens and parents.  Some teens are better than others and not all teens have had the advantages other teens have, but in one fashion or another I have heard this problem come up in my counseling sessions both from the parents and from the teens themselves.  Frustration abounds.One thing became abundantly clear to me when my daughter asked me, “How can I possibly be in exchange with a person who carried me for nine months, cared for me, gave me everything and has helped me my whole life?”  When she asked, I was at first surprised and then discovered that I was no longer confused about any of her unexplainable behaviors.  It was a completely fair and honest question.My mind raced to all the things my parents and grandparents taught me and to the teachings of a dear friend of mine: 
“Continually in this society, you’ll find a sixteen-, seventeen-, eighteen-year-old kid is in a high state of revolt. ‘Papa, Mama – they’re no good anymore; they’re old-fashioned. They can’t understand. They wouldn’t be able to understand a woman of the world.’ Or a man of the world, as the case may be. ‘They don’t have a person’s best interests…’“All the kid is trying to do there in his teens is simply break this ‘You’re helping me, you’re helping me, you’re helping me. I’ve got to do something about it because I’m getting owned, owned, owned. And I don’t own myself anymore. And I’m getting worried about it, so I’ve got to protest, and I’ll find anything to protest against.’ And the kid at that stage will have the doggonedest things wrong with his parents. Oh, he has just terrific numbers of things. The parents have done this and done that and done this and done that to him. And actually, what he can’t face is the fact that his mother fed him every day.”  – L. Ron Hubbard,  from Route to Infinity, Lecture #6 May 21, 1952All these things went racing through my head and so I wanted to answer her as simply as I could since honestly, I have felt exactly like that myself!  Yes, even adult children find themselves at one point or another asking that question regarding their parents.  It would be so easy to become overwhelmed and just say it is impossible and then start to become critical of their parents.
With little children it seems easier and clearer than with babies and teens and adults for some reason.  You tell them, “I will buy you this toy if you clean your room every night before bed.”  Simple. “I will give you a dollar if you clean up the living room.”  It’s very clear-cut.But parents seldom tell their infant daughter or son what their exchange with the family is.  Now that must sound crazy to you right?  But a lot of times when a parent brings a inconsolable baby to me in desperation, telling me the doctor could find nothing wrong; no gas, no physical maladies, no observable physical discomfort, the first thing I do is ask them if they told the infant that they want him/her and totally intend to keep him/her.The second thing I do is find out if they told the baby what their job is in the family.  And when I tell the child, “Your job right now, until you are older is to grow this body very healthy and strong, to sleep and eat well and to get as many smiles as you can from others,” I swear, every time I do this they stop crying and either become very calm or smile!  To which others around them smile and I tell them, “See, you are winning already!”OK – so that is for babies and young children. What then is the answer to my daughter’s question? I simply told her what is true for me:
“At this age and through your adult life a good exchange for me would be:  be self- sufficient as you can be.  Get yourself up on time in the morning; help us get out of the house on time. Get a good education, be interested in your studies, do good work and help your teachers gear your education to your purpose in life so you will be happy in your education and your future work.  Start earning things that you want for yourself to take some of the burden off of me.  Be vigilant in your relationships with your friends so that you and they are kept safe and healthy but can still have a good time. Help out at home as much as you can.  If you see I have work responsibilities that are taking a lot of time, pitch in and help more.        “But first and foremost, stay in good communication.  Eighteen years old is the time when we move from being a child into becoming a friend to our parents if we want that.  I would like for you to be a friend so that when we are together we can laugh and have fun and exchange ideas and ideologies. Live a happy and successful life and be willing to allow me to share it with you by staying in communication with me.      “Then as I grow older, it might be a nice exchange for you to help me out as you can, if you can. And if not in any other way, then call me and come to visit with me.”
After I said this my daughter actually let out a sigh as if she had been holding her breath forever. I am not saying that if you tell your teenager what you expect as an exchange it will then suddenly all go smoothly for you, but it might.  I do recognize that in their struggle for independence that mistakes are made and conflicting expectations result in secrets that need to be dealt with. They must be dealt with and confronted.I am saying though that in order to do a job well done and to not make mistakes, the boundaries and expectations must be known and understood.Let’s be honest here – a fair exchange for a child (regardless of age) to a parent is not always an immediate thing.  Sometimes it takes time, even years for the opportunity to come up.  On one visit to my parent’s house, my mother was sick; an unusual thing for her even at 83 years of age.  She was upset for me that I was assisting her and helping her to get cleaned up.  All that ran through my mind was how many times she cleaned up after me when I was a baby and when I was sick.  How many times had she given me a hand up as an adult when I ran into some difficulty?  To me this was not an obligation.  “Are you kidding Mommy?  This is nothing.  I love you; this is love.”  And that is exchange.I hope that this article helps you and gives you a guide of what to tell your children about their exchange to you as parents.  Exchange is a very important part of surviving well.  Let’s help them understand it well.

Wishing you certainty,
Diane DiGregorio Norgard
Mace-Kingsley Family Center
You can reach me at 727-442-3922

A Note on “When to go to the Doctor?”

Posted on by wilson-admin-main

In reading a lot of your posts on different Facebook sites it has come to my attention that some people seem to have a confusion on exactly when to take your child or your family member to the doctor.  Many of us are inclined to use “home remedies”, I know.  But how do you know when and how long to do this before we take ourselves and our family members to the doctor?

For many years, one of my jobs was to be the liaison between people coming for services and their medical doctor when needed.  When I started this position, I had the impression that a lot of doctors and medical professionals would over-prescribe or would “poo-poo” any use of natural healing substances.  I have to say that the majority of the time this was not true.  Most of the medical professionals I worked with were often cautious, but willing to look into alternatives as long as they a) did not contradict their knowledge and b) worked quickly enough.  That said, of course there are some medical doctors that did not agree to look, but it is at the same time good to remember that we are hiring these doctors to help us and to inform us. To that degree we have the opportunity to interview and choose a doctor that will work with us.

In a Technical bulletin of 12 March 1969 L. Ron Hubbard wrote and was clear about this:

“The body is capable of having physical illness, acute (momentary) or chronic (continual).  Broken bones, pinched nerves, diseases can any of them occur to a body independent of any mental or spiritual action.

“The mind or spirit can predispose the illness or injury.  By this is meant a person can be distraught and have an accident, or decide to die and get a disease.

“But the disease or injury when he’s got it is a body circumstance and responds best to skilled medical (ordinary, usual, put on a tourniquet, set a bone, give a shot) treatment.”  LRH

Some people have the mistaken idea that Scientologists refuse or will not seek medical treatment.  This is misinformation created by the press and people not knowledgeable of the true technology of Scientology.  In fact as you see above, it is not only not discouraged – it is in fact required in instances when needed before counseling can either begin or continue.

So when should we bring our children to the doctor?  I can only advise you this way:

1) Find and read the above reference so you have the complete data.

2) I can tell you what my pediatrician and other doctors have mentioned to me as a parent of two children and that has worked for me:

A body temperature 99 degrees or over is indication of a fever and possible contagion in a human body.  The body creates this fever when there is a virus or bacteria or something foreign in the body in the effort to kill it off.  This is a good thing unless the fever lasts too long (in which case it is not getting the job done effectively enough) or the fever spikes to 102 degrees and beyond.  At 106 degrees the brain is at risk of damage.  And in fact a person can be susceptible to febrile seizures.  A febrile seizure is the effect of a sudden rise in temperature (>39°C/102°F) rather than a fever that has been present for a prolonged length of time.

So the question is how long do you wait to let the body try to burn the infection out and at what point do we take the child to the doctor?  If the child is under 3 months of age, a fever of 100.4 is an indication that you should definitely check with your doctor.  Older than this my pediatrician recommended this:

If the fever is 99 degrees to 101.9, stay home, drink plenty of fluids, keep the child comfortable and quiet and allow them to rest.  You can handle with home remedies.  (The only exception to this would be if the child has a stiff neck.) If after 3 days they are not better, then the infection is usually not viral or too persistent and needs medical attention.

If the fever spikes to 102 degrees give the child some form of substance to bring the fever down to the safer range.  If you are using natural remedies and they don’t work within thirty minuets to an hour they are not working sufficiently enough and this would be an indication to contact your doctor.   If the fever spikes high and stays high, you definitely need to contact your doctor, as an antibiotic or some other medical treatment might be required.

Also, if a young child has diarrhea or vomiting watch closely for dehydration.  Ensure they are drinking some form of drink with electrolytes in them.  If they are not drinking  liquids or cannot keep fluids in them, it is important and imperative that you see a doctor immediately, as they might need to be given fluids intravenously.

It is true that as Scientologists we also, concurrent with the doctor’s orders, deliver assists to help the body heal faster.  A better understanding of what these are and how they are used correctly can be found at the Scientology Handbook site under “Assists for  Illness & Injuries ((http://www.scientologyhandbook.org/SH6.HTM )

But all doctors’ orders and instructions on how to take medications should be strictly followed for the best possible outcome.

I agree that it is not needed to run to the doctor for every little cold or low grade fever, but we must be knowledgeable enough of how the human body works to recognize when there is a dangerous situation that needs medical attention and when there is not.  I encourage each of you to further educate yourselves on this matter, read up, talk to your trusted doctors and other health professionals to get the best working knowledge before illness occurs in your household.

I hope this helps to clear up any possible confusions and worries parents have on the matter.

Sending you love,

Diane DiGregorio Norgard
Mace-Kingsley Family Center
727-442-3922

The Holidays Are Coming

Posted on by wilson-admin-main

The “Holiday Season” in the United States of America runs from mid-October until the first of January every year.  Every month during this time there is a holiday to prepare for, experience and enjoy.  However, with this come challenges for parents and children. It is this I would like to write about here.

Let’s start with the first thing that will come up: Sugar  and sugary treats.  I love sweets!!!!  And most people I know do as well.  But what most medical and nutritional doctors tell me repeatedly is that all bacteria, viruses, yeasts and fungus feed best on sugar!  At a time when most people get together, kiss each other and share good spirit, we are also most likely to eat sugar, hence predisposing us to illness.

Secondly, this is the time most people and children tend to become critical of one another.  Children criticize each others’ costumes, gifts, likes and dislikes.  It is a time during which we will tend to get less sleep, become short with one another and/or make others’ criticisms seem more important than they need to be.

Lastly, regarding divorced parents:  while you might never criticize your child’s other parent to them or in front of them, sadly I have found that grandparents, aunts and uncles or friends are sometimes not so careful in their communications about such things within earshot of the children.  And even if it is not within the earshot of your children, other children have a tendency to repeat things they have overheard.

All these things create stress which can result in the predisposition of illness and injuries.

If you think about it, you will see how this can easily happen. A person starts to feel invalidated (made less of) or evaluated for (told what to think about themselves), this begins to worry him/her.  They don’t sleep well, they might not eat well, thus causing them to worry even more.  Now he/she is not paying attention to what he/she is doing as he/she is looking inward trying to figure out what to do about the situation.  The next thing you know – BAM!  An accident happens that results in an injury.  Or due to the poor nutrition and exhaustion and excess sugar, a bacteria or virus floating around is able to take hold and that person is then sick.

If you look at the whole picture, it will suddenly make sense to you why there tends to be more illness and accidents around the holidays.  It is more than likely not the colder weather; it is more likely the above situation.

So what can we do about this?

I can tell you right now that the chances of you getting your child (or yourself) not to eat that amazing Holiday treat that you only get to experience once a year are slim.  But you can educate your children way in advance as to what sugar does and how it acts in the body.  You can also provide alternative treats for the situations you will be in, at least minimizing the amount of sweets you and your child eat.  And you should take extra vitamins and supplements that are well-documented to boost the immune system just prior to and during this time of year.

I would suggest taking the time to educate the family on the definition of invalidation:  “refuting or degrading or discrediting or denying something someone else considers to be fact.  Basically it is ‘no attention’.  It actually acts as force and is equivalent to being struck.”  (Basic Dictionary of Dianetics & Scientology)

And the definition of evaluation:  “the imposing of data or knowledge upon another.  An example would be to tell another why he is the way he is instead of permitting or guiding him to discover it for himself.”

(Basic Dictionary of Dianetics & Scientology)

Go over why it is damaging to do this.  Act out many examples of how it happens in life and then act out what they could say or do instead.  This will result in three things; them being able to withhold themselves from doing this, to recognize it when it is being done to them and how they can handle it when it does occur.  Drill with them how they can easily ignore those kinds of statements, as these are someone’s opinion and not necessarily a truth. Drill how instead they can put their attention on the good things a person says and on the “fun stuff”.  They can then just ignore those statements and make nothing of them completely. Doing so is not in any way being impolite. You can also let them know that it is totally within their rights to point out to the other person who is invalidating and evaluating that the Way to Happiness says to treat others the way they would like to be treated.  (See The Way to Happiness Booklet Precept number 19 & 20).

Lastly, to those who are divorced:  You generally know those people in your life who tend to hold a grudge or criticize your former spouse.  Speak with them before you get together for a holiday event and explain as pleasantly as you can that you wish to keep the Holidays a happy time and that you do not wish to discuss any disturbing or upsetting things regarding anyone, especially not about your former spouse.  The truth is, if there are any issues between you and that person, it is a personal situation to be resolved between the two of you.  After all, “communication must be good communication: the necessary data sent in the necessary direction and received.”  (The Components of Understanding pg 9 http://www.scientologyhandbook.org/SH3_3.HTM ).  Therefore if those individuals have an upset about your former spouse and they are telling you about it, they are then in violation of two things: 1) good communication (it is not going in the proper direction to be received.)  and 2) They are acting as an unknown third party between yourself and your former spouse. If overheard, then this creates that situation between your child and their parent.

“The law would seem to be:

A THIRD PARTY MUST BE PRESENT AND UNKNOWN IN EVERY QUARREL FOR A CONFLICT TO EXIST.

or

FOR A QUARREL TO OCCUR, AN UNKNOWN THIRD PARTY MUST BE ACTIVE IN PRODUCING IT BETWEEN TWO POTENTIAL OPPONENTS.

or

WHILE IT IS COMMONLY BELIEVED TO TAKE TWO TO MAKE A FIGHT, A THIRD PARTY MUST EXIST AND MUST DEVELOP IT FOR ACTUAL CONFLICT TO OCCUR.”  L. Ron Hubbard (How to Resolve Conflicts booklet  http://www.scientologyhandbook.org/SH8.HTM )

For me, the best handling for this is to remind myself and others of the purpose of the Holiday being celebrated.  I can work hard to grant beingness and enjoy the people around me. (“Granting beingness: to let someone else be what he is. Listening to what someone has to say and taking care to understand them, being courteous, refraining from needless criticism, expressing admiration or affinity are examples of the actions of someone who can grant beingness.”) beingness. http://www.whatisscientology.org/html/Part14/Chp50/pg1021-a.html )

When I find myself feeling upset, I can remove myself from the situation, take a little walk and when I come back, I find things I can admire about that person.

I am not saying it is always easy, but by applying these simple tenets of Scientology you and your children can enjoy your Holiday Season with the least amount of stress and illness.

Here is wishing you the healthiest and most amazing Holiday Season ever!

Diane DiGregorio Norgard
Mace-Kingsley Family Center
727-442-3922

Halloween

Posted on by wilson-admin-main

A couple of years ago I wrote an article on illness and the Holiday Season for the Scientology Parent Site as seen here: http://www.scientologyparent.com/illnesses-and-the-holiday-seaon/

Well during this last week something has come up that made me realize there is something I totally failed to caution about in this article. In the last week alone I have had parents sign up their 4 year olds-8 year olds for counseling because they watched a movie appropriate to Halloween and now their child is having terrible nightmares.

  • So here is my best advice for your younger children:
    Through the next 4-5 weeks make sure to give them more B vitamins—an easy way to do this is to add some Brewer’s Yeast or Nutritional Yeast to their diet. This can be mixed into a smoothie to mask any strong tastes and Nutritional Yeast is less strong tasting than Brewer’s yeast. Or give them a good B complex with a little extra B1 supplement. To have this work the most efficiently it is suggested to always to balance this with extra C and Calcium/Magnesium supplements. If you are not sure of dosages please contact a local nutritionist or Chiropractor that does nutritional testing.
  • Keep in mind that movies that seem mild to a pre-teen and teen are often too scary for younger children. Movies like Harry Potter, Bride of Frankenstein and Zombie movies are the culprit of the latest rash of dreams terrorizing children.
  • Costumes! What could you possibly do about costumes? I suggest you talk to your child about scary costumes. If they are afraid of certain kinds then have them draw out what scares them about the costumes and tell you about it. Just listen and acknowledge you heard what they said. Do not try to explain why the costume is not scary. This is a process suggested in the “Children” Chapter or booklet from the Scientology Handbook. You can find a copy at any library and look at the data on how to apply this exactly. Unfortunately the internet version of the “Children” chapter does not include this. You will have to find the booklet or the chapter in the actual Scientology Handbook. Another procedure you can use is the Locational Assist and this can be found here: http://www.scientologyhandbook.org/assists/sh6_7.htm. Mace-Kingsley Family Center also does sell these inexpensive booklets if you would like to purchase one. Anyone who feels uncertain on how to run these processes, or if the situation is too severe, feel free to contact Mace-Kingsley Family Center at 727-442-3922.
  • As mentioned in the article on the “Scientology Parent” site watch SLEEP and SWEETS: Staying up late and eating foods they normally don’t eat due to parties, Trick or Treating, etc. can lead to being over-stimulated. That coupled with the situations mentioned in 2-3 above, when the child actually does fall asleep these can lead to nightmares.
  • Here is a suggestion for the best way to handle Halloween to avoid nightmares for young children and still have a lot of fun: Rather than Trick or Treating get together as friends and have a little party. Limit the sweets with little party favor toys. If you must watch a movie pick something very child friendly like: “Casper the Friendly Ghost”, “The Lego Movie” or “Big 6 Hero”, “Frozen”, etc. If you must Trick or Treat work together with a number of your friends: You take your, and their kids out to the houses of these friends, you can even trade off. They come to your house, you hand out the treats which are limited sweets and party favors. Then you both walk to your friend’s house, you take their children to the next house, where this friend hands out similar treats, she then takes your children while you go back to your house to continue handing out treats, etc. Hey, I just thought that up! And don’t forget to hand out the same to Tricks or Treaters that show up at your house along with the booklets “How to Make Good Choices” to the younger children and “The Way to Happiness” booklets to the older teens. In effect just be creative on how to shield your child from any really scary costumes, movies, commercials, Haunted Houses, etc. And when you are not able to do that, be aware of things you can do to minimize the scare with good nutrition and getting the child’s attention onto the non-scary physical universe around them and having them draw out the things that scare them.

I hope that this helps you all have a safe and fun Halloween this year!

Diane D. Norgard
Mace-Kingsley Family Center